My Great 'Why'

Why Change Matters so much to me.

I never realized that my whole life was about change. I'll never forget a memory from four years old. I was in a car with my mom who had moved us to a new city. I couldn't get the name of the city right, but I remember seeing tall buildings and paved roads and thinking how huge this city was; we had moved to Greensboro, North Carolina.

Looking back now, with a 2 year old daughter; to think of moving across the state with a child on my own seems a stressful thing to do. But my mom had a firm 'why' in her head: here, we'll be safe, we'll have opportunity, and we'll get a fair shot.

She was right. I went to an international elementary school where I learned subjects in Spanish and English; by 3rd grade I was an exchange student in Costa Rica with my mom, who did bake sales, got grants and raised money for over a year to make it happen.

But as a little girl, I watched the journey of change cost a lot for her. To help her navigate, I grew up faster than most kids would, adopted the pressure of a high performer and started working as soon as I was legally able to (fourteen in NC!). Three years later, my maternal grandmother passed and it was my first heartbreak. My grandmother was the referee of my mother who was the baby of 10 kids, and her teenage daughter. My grandmother understood me, and I understood her. We understood the responsibility of loving and caring for people.

Then my mom got sick. Lupus reared its ugly head, but didn't stop our fight! I got some scholarships to go to college, and after I graduated got an internship, then a job in the Financial sector. That's where Change Management found me. Over the years, I'd take her on business trips with me around the country, and help out with her needs.

When Lupus developed into Lupus Nephritis, I moved from Charlotte back to Greensboro to take care of her. I took her to all her dialysis appointments. When it was time for her to get a new kidney, I got us a house in 'one of the good zip codes', where we could brave out the pandemic, and where she could recover.

I thought I'd checked all the boxes, and though our lives had been the summation of tough times, she would be there to walk with me once we got on the other side of this next hard time.

I faced medical processes and decisions fearlessly, as fearlessly as she did when we'd first moved to Greensboro.

Then the time of joy finally came! My mom got to see me rekindle and marry my high school sweetheart! Two months later, I found out I was pregnant, and my mom got an infection in her new kidney. CMV. Cytomegalovirus.

The irony that as my mom fought this virus, my pregnancy prevented me from being around her. I'd visit the hospital and sit outside the hospital room in a chair, with eyeline to my mom; apologizing to the nurses for obstructing their path. I was determined that hard times would not stop me.

She recovered, but the damage to the kidney worsened her heart. My mom planned my first baby shower from a hospital bed. I had to be hospitalized as my pregnancy turned high risk, and planned her care decisions from a hospital bed too.

But we were fighters and would get through this. I remember wondering, praying that my baby would be okay, after a particularly rough episode with my cervix. I'll never forget looking at my little happy dancing bean on the ultrasound and knowing that she'd be okay.

even when my mom got moved to palliative care, I knew that tough times had prepared us for the unknown and it would be okay. By this time, I was 7 months pregnant, and had to constantly remind hospital check in not to direct me to the natal unit but to the wing where my mom was. Walking the long halls got tiring, so I wheeled myself.

Little did i know, as tough as I fancied myself, the biggest changes of my life still laid ahead.

The first change was having to go from helping my mom fight to live all these years, to helping my mom be okay that she was going to die. It took my whole community, several doctors and much prayer to convince me. But it was my conversations with my mom that helped me most.

But my bargaining didn't stop. Even when I accepted that I would lose her, I coordinated my birth and her admittance in the same hospital so they could wheel me to my mom and she could meet my baby.

I buried my mom 6 days before giving birth, while dilated at the funeral. I can't describe it, so I wont try. My mother was laid to rest in a crown. She was the queen of my life, and will forever be.

I tell you this very personal story, because I want you to understand a few things.

1. Before I even understood what it meant to change course, I had a special relationship with it.

2. I haven't just been in high stakes business changes where multiple millions where on the line; I've been to the edge in my own life; where all negotiation and efforts to avoid change still happen and all you're left with is devastation.

3. I know that change does not always feel like good news, and I will never underestimate the amount of grief attached to change. Good and bad. at any level.

   
   

I have found my life path. It wasn't in the discovery that I'm really good at change management to optimize business results; it was because the source of that is powered by the very real understanding that change, without tools, can upend and cripple your whole life, and there's a little piece of my mom in the face of determination that replaces the feeling of hopelessness on the faces of the people I help.

I dont know what the future holds, but not showing up to the game of life is not the answer to it. I've decided that I'm going to be empowered, not victimized by change.

I know I've got what it takes to help others Empower their Futures as well.

Welcome to what I hope is the start of a beautiful journey together!

Most Sincerely,

Evie Staples